Taking the Car Keys Away
One of the most difficult things to do is to take the car keys away from an elderly family member. To facilitate this traumatic loss of independence, experience has offered the following tips:
1. If the person has been diagnosed with an illness or diagnosis that makes it unsafe to be driving, have the diagnosing doctor write an order on a prescription pad to the attention of the state’s department of public safety. The order should read, “It is unsafe for the patient to be driving because he or she is harmful to his or her self or can cause unintentional, but serious and sudden harm and injury to the public at large.” This accomplishes several things. The physician is a credible person who the majority of elderly people trust and depend on, and who comply with. Most elderly drivers will tell you that they are always able to focus and thus maintain control of their car. They may never have caused an accident before, so they say, so why would they have one now, just because of an illness! Why does the doctor use the word, “unintentional” in the order, and with a special emphasis on the phrase, “serious and sudden harm and injury to the public…”. Because, the patient doesn’t have control of the car regardless of any previous driving record or how good of a driver the patient has been in the past. The illness can have a sudden, unexpected affect on the patient’s ability to drive the car safely.
2. It is against the law and it is a violation of the law for a physician or any other professional, who knows that a patient may be unsafe to drive because of a known illness or diagnoses, yet does nothing to warn the public, family members, the patient, and the regulatory government agency of this possibility. The fact that the physician knew of the dangers of a patient driving, but withheld reporting the consequences to the family and the proper authorities is a violation of the law and the code of professional conduct.
3. Other possible and credible explanations could be offered along the same lines that can be used with or without a physician writing an order:
a. The elderly person or patient may also be subject to the auto insurance carrier who insures the patient to raise the premiums or no longer even insure the driver/patient due to the increased liability risk from the patient, especially if driving against doctor’s orders.
b. Liability issues from potential litigation arising out of an injury sustained by another party caused by the patient’s reckless endangerment while driving, regardless of insurance coverage. No one wants to open their check book and write a blank check, especially the WWII generation.
c. No one wants to drive in major metropolitan areas with continual traffic congestion and construction. It’s frustrating and not good for anyone’s health.
4. Tips: The patient’s family member should be present at a physician’s office visit to discuss the consequences of driving. The patient’s family member should call the physician before an office visit and ask that the physician bring this up with the elderly patient while the family member is present, and that the physician be doing much of the talking. The family member would then contact the local office of the state department of public safety to receive instructions on how to submit the physician’s order to permanently suspend or revoke the patient’s driver’s license. Most physicians won’t obligate themselves to take any further steps for fear of liability from their patient.
5. Some physicians while writing the order, won’t discuss the dangers of driving and will leave that up to the family member for fear of losing their patient, some of whom who’d consider receiving the physician’s order not to drive worse news than a diagnosis of 3 months to live. If this is the case, the family member can also solicit the participation of another of the patient’s trusted friend, professional adviser or clergy to help in explaining the dangers and the reason for the order. Again the family members can remove themselves from the emotional trauma of being the ones to pronounce a sentence of loss of independence that no elderly parent or spouse wants to hear!
6. Another common method of dealing with this dilemma is to physically remove the car from the garage. Removing just the keys doesn’t sit well with an elderly parent or spouse who sees the car in the garage, but can’t drive the car because of not having the keys. It becomes a tease for an elderly person who can see their independence sitting in the garage, but can’t use it. It’s like being a prisoner. The best thing to do is to remove both the keys and the car. If the elderly person is demented, removing the car and keys is not as challenging. Once the keys and car are removed from the house, simply explain to the elderly parent or spouse that the car is at the mechanics for a major overhaul, but that it may not be drivable any longer because of the poor condition of the car.
